Last day....

The other day in my devotional time with God, I was thanking God for a brand new day that He gave me. And then it hit me, I know that I thought about it before and that many times this was in my mind, but what if today would be my last day on earth. Did I managed to make a difference in 22 years that I lived on this earth?

I believe that as Christians there are two ways you can choose to live your life: the invisible way and the difference way.

The invisible way, I tell you from the beginning that it is the easiest way. It means that you go through life, you and your own life, your problems, you and a bit of God here and there. No body ever knows how you feel, what you're up to, no one knows when you're on the mountain, or struggling in the valley. Being invisible no one can judge you, no one can point at you, no one can get close enough to get to know you. An invisible man never leaves a mark, no one knows that he's been there. It's easy because no body bugs you, but at the end, when it's your last day, your time to go will come and yes maybe you'll barely make it to heaven, but you made it. But the earth? Life is just a second, and that's the second that makes your eternity count, how then is that second? You will realize then that you lived, and no one got to know you, some people, maybe many, will be there at your funeral, but an hour after that, you will be forgotten. Why? Because Invisible people, are just a shadow of what they should be, whatever an invisible person makes, it's invisible.
This way is the easiest, but the loneliest, the one that is basicaly a waste, the most insignificant. Does it worth to pay the price just because it's the easiest?

The difference way, it has to do with people that make a difference, it's about people that are the difference. It's the hardest one, people see you, they see you when you are successful, but they also see you when you fall, they see you in your best and in your worst. When you walk on this way people will judge you, people will fail you, people will brake your heart, some will love you, others might hate you. When you walk on this way you are totally dependent on God, totally passionate about Him.

There is the negative side, but the rewards you get from walking on this way are enormous.

Every human being has in itself a desire to count for something, to know that his/her life hasn't been for nothing. Walking on the difference way will surely meet this need, because when you walk on this way, you do leave a mark behind, you do make a difference.

To show you what I mean I will put here what I wrote in my praying notebook that morning:

"Lord I thank you for this brand new day that you've given me, I don't know which will be my last day, but I do know that I would like to live everyday leaving a mark behind. And if I would be to die today, I would like to know that I left a mark behind, to know that I changed at least the world around me, at least a life. To know that at least I succeeded to bring a smile to a heartbroken person, a light of hope to a desperate family, to know that I wiped a tear from a lonely person, assuring him that he is not alone. I would like to know that when those who know me will think about me, in their hearts they will think of Jesus. Today is a new day, in which i can choose to either go the invisible way or make a difference. But those leaving a mark behind will be rewarded, they will honor Him, they will change lives..."

That's part of my discussion with God that morning and I'm telling you it worths taking the difference way. It's hard, but the recompense you get from it doesn't even compare to the hardship of walking on this way.

Remember you can make the difference, you are the difference. It's your choice, the invisible or the difference way?

Be blessed

A.W.

For YOU.....

Hey God,

On this blog I talk a lot about You, about our thoughts, discussion, but I never dedicated a post to You literally, just writing to you and it's time to do so.

Well what can I say, Lord you are amazing and gorgeous. I never really saw Your face even though so many times I wish I could, but I do know that you are the most beautiful thing ever. I'd never heard your voice as an audible voice, but I do know that it's the best sound in the whole world.

You are... You are the love of my heart, of my life. And if I would have to write on 3 cards the 3 most important things in my life, you would be my card no.1, the card I'd never let go.There were times when I dropped that card, but thank you for never dropping on me.

Lord, You are the only one who knows me better than I know myself, you saw me through my worst and through my best. You saw me when I wanted to give it all up, but you never gave up on me. You were there when I shouted 'Crucify him' and you... you hang on that cross, for who? For me. I was the one, not the roman soldier, creating wounds on your body, and still when the time came and you could have created as many wounds as you wanted in me, you?!... You picked me up, cleaned me and healed my wounds. You took the ashes of what once was a caterpillar and created a beautiful butterfly.

You saved me not just once, but 3 times, you know what I mean by that. I wouldn't be here if it weren't for you. You tought me how to love, how to smile, how to laugh, how to hope. Whatever is good in me,  it's because of you. No matter what my heart told me at the time, I know now that I was never alone. You were and are in every beat of my heart.

Now, now there are still times when I let you down, I know it, I know every time I bring sadness to You, sometimes I do it intentionally, sometimes I have no idea I did it, and still you love, still you hope, still you believe in me. When you look at me, you don't see just what I am now, you see beyond, you see what I can be.

Lord you have such a great dream for me, you could make it happen and every detail to be as you wish, but still you choose to let me dream with you, you let me put my imperfect creation into action.

I love you! I don't always feel it, but I do love you. I can't do much, but what I can I will. You gave me life,  and my life I want to give it back to you as my dedication to you.

I love you and I'll use my every breath loving you, and when the time comes for me to go HOME, I will hug you and give you a kiss on your cheek, I will stay in wonder, overwhelmed by the joy, the beauty,  the love, the light, the perfection that I'll literally see in front on my eyes. I can't wait to be there...

I love you!

To you, my love, my sunshine, my hope, my faith, my best friend, my companion, my GOD.

A.W.

Love as HE loved...

Love, a word that has so little meaning for some, and so much sense for others. For some, "love" is reduced to merely a feeling, to others is a verb, to others it means absolutely nothing, as they never truly experienced what love means.

For me, LOVE means self giving, acceptance, trust, security, affection. For God, it meant the supreme sacrifice, His Only Son.

I was reading 1Corinthians 13, 'The chapter of love', we all know it, and we all read it. I realized that this chapter is a chapter you hear talking from at weddings. I remember when I was younger, every time I used to like a boy a lot, I used to go to the Bible and read 1 Corinthians 13. I didn't understand the depth of the words written there,but I knew that's where the Bible talks about love.

Most of the preachings I heard preached from this chapter were at weddings. We are tought, indirectly, that this chapter is applied to marriage only.

I believe the time is NOW, when we have to enlarge our vision, see beyond what we were tought. Jesus said that the greatest command it is 'to love your neighbor as He loved us'. It's time to take the Bible out and read  again 1 Corinthians 13, because, I believe we should read it in relation to all people, we were called to love all people.

We tried to romanticize this chapter and attribute it to certain areas of our lives only, and sometimes not even to our own lives, as it is easier to see the wrong of the other person. But this chapter is nothing about romanticism, it doesn't talk about dates and roses and candles. It talks about hard work, it talks about humbleness, it talks about believing the best in the other person, it talks about selflessness.

This chapter is put between two very important chapters, one chapter that talk about the body of Christ (the church), and another one that talks about the gifts that we are given from God. But in the middle Paul decided, I believe inspired by God, to speak about LOVE. Why? Because you can be the 'perfect christian', having the greatest gift, and if your motivation is not love, if you do all this, but not out of love it's all equal to zero.

We are called to love, not just our spouse, or family, or friends. We are called to love all people as He loves us. How did He loved me? Dying for me, bearing all my sins, shame, weakness. How does He love me? Believing the best of me at all times, seeing beyond what I am now, forgiving me everytime I do something wrong, having the greatest patience with me, as I fall over and over again. How does He love me? Waiting with his arms open for me to come back, everytime I go away and hurt Him; holding me in my weaknesses. That's just a very very small part of how much He loves me. And I am called to love everyone like that.

I challenge you to read 1 Corinthians 13 one more time (written below), and read every word, knowing that you are suppose to do what Paul urges us to in this chapter, to all people.

Be blessed and be a blessing.

Love Is the Greatest

  If I could speak all the languages of earth and of angels, but didn’t love others, I would only be a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. If I had the gift of prophecy, and if I understood all of God’s secret plans and possessed all knowledge, and if I had such faith that I could move mountains, but didn’t love others, I would be nothing.  If I gave everything I have to the poor and even sacrificed my body, I could boast about it; but if I didn’t love others, I would have gained nothing. Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out.  Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.Prophecy and speaking in unknown languages and special knowledge will become useless. But love will last forever! Now our knowledge is partial and incomplete, and even the gift of prophecy reveals only part of the whole picture! But when full understanding comes, these partial things will become useless.When I was a child, I spoke and thought and reasoned as a child. But when I grew up, I put away childish things. Now we see things imperfectly as in a cloudy mirror, but then we will see everything with perfect clarity. All that I know now is partial and incomplete, but then I will know everything completely, just as God now knows me completely.Three things will last forever—faith, hope, and love—and the greatest of these is love.

Freedom in the middle of brokenness...

 Yeah I was thinking if I should write, but then I thought why not to talk about the experiences we go through, that's how we can encourage each other not to give up in the middle of struggle.

So not long time ago I prayed and talked to God and asked Him to help me fall in love with Him, but literally fall in love with the butterfly in the stomach and everything, the whole package, and I believe that it is possible to be so madly in love with God. 

 Anyways, since that prayer I entered a season of brokenness and very much a brokenness at the emotional level. And man it hurts, you just feel like every little piece brakes out of you. It is as if you would cut somebody open with no anesthetic. And you might think "Good that you told me, I'll never make that prayer in my whole life."

But wait....my story did not finish here. Yes it is so painful, but I'm also starting to reap the fruits. Have you ever been scared in your life? Do you have fears in your life? Well you are not the only one. I had some, I like to say had, because I want to believe that I am free. These days of brokenness and pain, set me free from fear.

I was afraid of what if my husband dies, or also I had a very big fear of planes, that either one that I am in will crash or one plane will crash in the building I was living in. Or I was afraid at night that what if something hits the earth and I die in agony. Fears after fears, from the most weird ones to actually quite normal ones.

But let me tell you something. It's been a very hard emotionally week for me this past week. I mean I had to deal with my fears so much in a sense that I felt the pain as if my husband already died. Agony, tears, brokenness. But you know what? I know that this season is not yet finished for me, but for the first time in my life I felt so free. I'm not scared anymore. Through all this breaking I got to trust God 100% completely. I do not hold the day of tomorrow, not even the next second. I don't know if a plane will ever crash with me, or if my husband will die now, or if something will hit the earth, I have no control over such things. But I look at the day of tomorrow and I laugh, I am not scared anymore. I can finally breath. All I know it is that God is in control, that if any of this things will ever happen, God will give me the strength to go through,  and I know that He will never leave me. I trust him completely. And man it is worth it all this pain.

The other evening I came back home from work and as I was walking, it was dark, the sky looked so beautiful, and suddenly a loud noise, it was a military plane I think. Normally my heart would stop for a second, but not anymore. I stopped in the middle of the road and I looked up at it, beautiful. No more fear.

I have to go through all this, I believe because I have to break from anything that holds me, to be able to surrender it all to Him, in order to fall totally, completely,  madly in love with HIM, my God, my Lord, my Savior, my friend, my everything. 

Is God Your everything? Would He be enough for you? If you would be to loose everything you hold dear, everything you have, would you still love Him? would you still trust Him?

This past week and so, God became my everything. Up to now God was my everything, but only next to having my husband next to me, having health, and all the good things He gave me in the first place. But now God is truly, completely, my everything. And  I am not yet where I am suppose to be as a person, but right now at this moment, I believe  I am where I am suppose to be.

I am learning so many things....some painful, some hard, some even look impossible. I know that I'm still on the journey, but I will be on the journey as long as I will be on this earth.


If you find yourself in a season of brokenness right now, don't be discouraged, GOD always brings out beautiful things.


I know that we are all a precious diamond to GOD, but right now, for me, it's a time when HE becomes my most precious diamond.


Be blessed


A.W.

Humbleness

Not a very long time ago i was praying about humbleness. I think is a key in our journey on this earth. Humbleness brings greatness.

Anyways as I prayed I thought about the passage in John 8:58  “Very truly I tell you,” Jesus answered, “before Abraham was born, I am!”  Jesus was the Son of God but in the same time He was a humble person.

What does humbleness means? As I found it defined in the dictionary it was something like 'marked by modesty in behavior, attitude or spirit.'  If you want humbleness is the opposite of  pride. Is not looking down on people. But in the same time to be humble doesn't mean to have a low self-esteem, humbleness does not mean insecurity. I believe that a humble person knows what he/she is able to do, know the gifts he/she has, but doesn't boast about it,  it is not proud, and knows that everything he/she is, it's through GOD.

Jesus was a humble person. He knew that He was the Son of God but He didn't boast about Him, or what He did, He boasted in the Father.

With true humility comes great and divine authority. I like this passage from John 8, Jesus was talking to the Pharisees and they were saying that they are the sons of God, and when Jesus said that he was the 'I am' they wanted to kill him because what He declared that He was GOD, the covenant keeping God, He was declaring that He was Jehovah, Yahweh. When Jesus declared this,  He did not say it in pride or insecurity, He declared in humility, but with great divine authority. Because with great humility comes great authority given by the Almighty one, our GOD.

As you grow in humbleness, you will also grow in the authority God gives you.

And then the last point is that humility comes with maturity, or maturity comes with humility. I don't really know which is the better way to put it, but the truth is that it comes together. Only a spiritually mature person can actually be humble.

You might be thinking now 'Well Alex, that's not gonna be me, I'm not mature, not even close'., Well I don't want you to feel discouraged because, I, myself am on this journey. Maturity and humbleness doesn't just happen, we grow into it. Little by little, faithful first in small things and then growing into bigger things. I do fail even now, but this doesn't mean I am not going to go for it again. We are a righteous people not because we are so perfect, or spiritually mature, but because of Jesus. 

I like what Proverbs 24:16 says 'for though the righteous fall seven times, they rise again,
   but the wicked stumble when calamity strikes'. We are human so we will fall, it is impossible to be perfect on this earth,  but we go for it and inspire to be as close to perfection as possible. But the difference is that a righteous man even if it falls 7times a day, he will get up and try again. 

So be encouraged, pray for humility, chase humility,  live humility, and when you fall, remember that you are a righteous person and get up, try again and NEVER GIVE UP!!

Be blessed

A.W.

A song...

I just found this and i thought I'll post it.

Few years ago I was coming out of a season of brokenness and as I played a little bit with the piano I came out with a very simple but from the heart song. I don't remember the chords or how the melody sounds like, but i do have the lyrics and every word is so true.

Thank you God for not giving up on me.

'I remember when darkness 

Surrounded my life

Everything I had dear I lost it somehow

I was looking around but there was no one

                            Until you opened my eyes

                            Then I saw you were there

I love you 

I give myself to you

You're my everything

And everything I need 

Is You!'

So yeah, if it happens that you go through a storm or a season of brokenness remember that GOD never gives up on You. He's the one that goes with you through your struggles,  holds you through your weaknesses, always loving you, believing in you.

Be blessed

A.W.

Love.....

This past week, I met with a friend, and I was so motivated by his love and passion for God and people. So, all I was thinking these past days was love, love for God, love for people. It's good to have people that bring freshness to your life, to your spiritual life.

We Christians are so funny (not in a good way). I was thinking of myself and I realized that I tried to organize GOD'S LOVE. It doesn't work like that. You either love or you don't. We get so caught up in 'Should we do this? Am I called to do this? Should I help this person?' When Jesus told us clearly: 'LOVE AS I LOVED.'

 When was the last time you looked in a person's eyes, when was the last time you tried to see his soul, not his appearance? When was the last time you stopped and looked beyond the rudeness and saw a hurt soul? When was the last time you looked beyond a faded smile and saw loneliness? And when was the last time you stopped and cared?

The Word of God says 'Do not judge', Jesus himself did not come 'to condemn the world', so who are we to judge?

To make myself more understood, I'll give you an example that happened to me yesterday. A kid that is begging from time to time came around, I talked to him a little (this time he did not ask for anything) and inside me I thought that why should I give him anything, he is begging. Maybe he is even drinking, smoking, but then God spoke. I am not called to judge, I am called TO LOVE. Maybe giving a sandwich is a way to show that you care, that you love. Maybe stopping from your busy schedule and talk to a person that just needs somebody to talk to, is showing His love.

God puts divine moments in everyday life, moments that will change a life and surely will change your heart. We have to start chasing those moments, and not let them pass by.

My thought and struggle was, 'but what if the person doesn't change, what if the person continues to beg, or drink, or smoke or whatever?' It doesn't matter, you are called to Love unconditionally. Jesus was caring his cross, no one changed at the moment, everyone abandoned him actually, and still HE loved until the end. You know why I think Jesus went until the end? Not necessarily because He saw the future, but I think it is because He looked in people's eyes. He did not see leprosy, he saw a soul that needs healing. He did not see a soldier beating him up, He saw a lost soul that needed Him to die in order to be saved.

What do you see when you look around. Stop a second and look around you.
What do you see? Do you know what I see? I see a world that is hurting, a world that needs to be loved and I see one more thing : I see God's heart earning for His children to stop judging and start loving.

Anyways this is just a little bit of what's on my heart these days.

Be blessed, raise up, live and love.

A.W.